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PREGNANCY & INFANT LOSS

The Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Group of the Ventura County Chapter of The Compassionate Friends is for parents who are grieving the loss of a baby through ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth, newborn or early infant death. Discussion of grief related topics and informal sharing enables parents to help one another to better understand the process of grief and to work toward the positive resolution of grief. Mothers and fathers are invited to attend alone or with their partner, a family member or friend.

Meetings are held at the Boys & Girls Club of Camarillo, 1500 Temple Avenue, Camarillo, CA 93011 , the first and third Thursday of each month at 7:00 p.m. During the months of November & December, we meet one week earlier before the Thanksgiving and Christmas Holidays.

In our society we avoid talking about death. The death of a baby is even more hidden because it so violates our expectations. A difficult challenge for many of us is society's refusal to acknowledge that the loss of an unborn or newly born child is the loss of a unique individual. The fact that our babies were in the womb or in our arms for such a little while adds to the pain and isolation of losing a child.

However or whenever it occurs, a baby's death is a profound loss, and our attachment can begin before conception. When we lose this wished for child, our hopes and dreams for this child have already become a part of our life. The loss of this child, regardless of gestational age, is a loss of part of our
future.

Memories, so important for the bereaved, allow us to experience a more gradual good-bye. When a child dies before or shortly after birth, we have precious few memories. Our child is gone and we have very little evidence that he or she every really existed. This abrupt hello-good-bye relationship makes grieving very complex and painful.

Unfortunately, many friends and relatives do not recognize the depth of the loss of an unborn or newly born child. Acquaintances may never have seen the baby and find it difficult to imagine our grief over a child we have never seen or perhaps held only briefly. Because so few people actually knew our
child, our grief may be even more isolating.

As we travel this path, it may be helpful to seek out those friendships that are supportive in helping us cope with the loss of our babies. May we reach out and comfort one another on this journey. We are "The Compassionate Friends".

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